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Yes, I’m Excited

I’m standing in line at security at Newark Airport a couple of minutes ago. A gentleman who is of my religion, though dressed in more traditional religious garb, approaches me as we wait to go through security:

Him: Are you excited?
Me: (Looking around) Hm?
Him: Are you excited?
Me: (Looking around again, as I don’t know this person and if I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that if someone you don’t know speaks to you in the airport, it’s probably not good). I’m sorry?
Him: Excited? Are you?
Me: (Looking at him as if I’m in a dream where I’m in Azerbaijan and I don’t speak the language and he keeps repeating: Czezbauki zhavesta krazna? Czezbauki zhavesta krazna? Czezbauki zhavesta krazna? Um…Should I be excited?
Him: Yes!
Me: Oh. (pause) (pause) (pause) (OK, sir, I’ll bite). Why should I be excited?
Him: Because you’re going to Israel!
Me: (Having seen the Spanish Prisoner I’m a tad weary of being told I’m going to a different destination than the one I’m expecting to be going). What?! Oh – wait, no. Sorry. I’m not going to Israel.
Him: Where are you going?
Me: Sao Paulo.
Him: Are you excited about going to Sao Paulo?
Me: Uh, sure?
Me: Are you excited about going to Israel?
Him: Of course!
Me: Oh.

And that was it.

Although I’m sure he was just wondering if I was excited to be going to Israel, I’m also 13% sure that upon arrival in Sao Paulo tomorrow an agent will pull me aside and ask if anyone – anyone at all – has approached me to ask if I was excited to go to Israel, and if so, can I please come with him. And then my family doesn’t see me for 13 years.

Susan – you should feel free to re-marry after 4 years.

Have a great night everyone.

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  1. what happens in four years?

  2. I hate when things like that happen. Odd people seem to be attracted to me. I’m not sure what that says about me.

  3. your writing is so funny, its as if I m there on a side line listening to your thoughts.

  4. It was probably Dan from Dans Deals

  5. I’m a fan of your blog because it is informative and so dang funny! Good work!

  6. try reading some articles on you need a broader perspective on “members of your religion”.

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