October 01, 2007

Woman Dies While in Custody at Phoenix Airport

An irate passenger at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport was handcuffed and placed in a holding cell on Friday after she screamed at a customer service agent in the airport.  Police went to check on her soon after and found that she had died in the cell.  Cops think she may have choked herself to death while trying to get out of the handcuffs.  Incidentally, the woman was the stepdaughter-in-law of the New York City's public advocate (though that's neither here nor there). 

The woman became extremely angry after she was not permitted to board her US Airways flight and was re-booked on a later departure.

October 1, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

August 08, 2007

Spirit Airlines: Please Do Not Hide Your Monkey in Your Ponytail

A passenger on a Spirit Airlines flight from Lima, Peru to LaGuardia (connecting in Fort Lauderdale) was caught hiding a monkey in ponytail (that's not a euphemism...he actually had a monkey under his ponytail).  During the flight to LaGuardia the monkey got loose from the ponytail (where he must have been hanging out for 7 or 8 hours) and the passenger was forced to hold the monkey on his lap.  Passengers and staff easily detected the monkey, as it was sitting in the guy's lap.  Health officials (that's what the story says) confiscated the monkey upon his arrival in New York.

August 8, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

July 16, 2007

Three Drunk Passengers Force Emergency Landing in Russia

Two separate incidents involving three drunk passengers forced a Pulkovo Airlines plane to make an emergency landing shortly after taking off from St. Petersburg on its way to Turkey.  Drunk man number one reportedly slapped a female passenger sitting next to him after she declined his romantic advances.  The second set of drunks got into an unrelated right over an unreported issue.  All three were arrested upon landing.  (Editor's Note: I'm not reinforcing stereotypes, I'm just reporting the news...)

July 16, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)

August 25, 2006

That's Not a Penis Pump, That's a Bomb

A guy is taking a trip from Chicago to Turkey with his mom and when he gets to the airport, security sees a slightly suspicious object in his luggage.  They ask what the object is and the guy tells security that it's a bomb.  It's not a bomb, of course, it's a penis pump (obviously).   He was too embarassed to sell security in front of his mother that he brought the penis pump with him, so he did what any of us would do in this situation:  he lied.  And said it was a bomb.  Which, if you've ever flown, you'll know is a stupid thing to say.  Which is why he's now facing felony charges.  No word on whether they confiscated the pump.

August 25, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

August 02, 2006

The Gucci Bag and the Ballpoint Pen

Two stories of nutty passengers getting kicked off planes yesterday:

A woman on a Cathay flight from Hong Kong to Tokyo refused to put her Gucci handbag under the seat in front of her during takeoff.  The plane had already begun to taxi when she got into an argument with flight attendants, causing a delay of an hour.  The plane returned to the gate, where she was arrested. 

In other news, a Southwest Airlines flight from Las Vegas to Little Rock was diverted to Tulsa when two men got into a fight involving a ballpoint pen.  The details aren't so important, but the photo on this page of the, uh, assailant, is kinda priceless.

August 2, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (3)

July 27, 2006

David Hasselhoff Banned from British Airways Flight

What is up with celebrities and airlines?  Snoop Dogg gets banned from British Airways.  DMX gets banned from British Airways.  Some person named Mo'Nique gets kicked off a United flight yesterday.  Where will it end?  Well, it won't end with David Hasselhoff.  British Airways refused to allow the Baywatch star to board an LA-bound flight in London after he got drunk in the first class lounge.  Said a witness, "He wasn't aggressive, he just had problems standing."  Hasselhoff was reportedly upset after splitting with his wife.  After sobering up, BA allowed him and his talking car to board a later flight.

July 27, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

July 26, 2006

Mo'Nique Kicked Off United Flight

Hm.  This is an odd one.  "TV Star" Mo'Nique was kicked off a United Airlines flight after a confrontation with flight attendants over a hair dryer.  I can't be bothered to share the details.  Ms. Nique later told a radio station that United's employees were racist, saying, "I felt like I was being treated like an animal...This happens to black people all the time, and they don't have a voice. I have a voice."

Doesn't she know that EVERYONE who flies is treated like an animal?  Sheesh!

July 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (4)

June 26, 2006

Girl Fight Diverts JetBlue Flight

A red-eye JetBlue flight from Newark to San Juan was diverted on Saturday after a woman got into a fight with two other passengers immediately after takeoff.  No word on what the women were fighting about (unfortunately), but the plane was diverted to JFK where, as you'd assume, the offending passengers were removed.

June 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

June 19, 2006

Man Attempts to Hijack South African Flight

A 21-year old Zimbabwean student attempted to hijack a South African Airlines flight from Cape Town to Johannesburg and divert it to Maputo, Mozambique, on Saturday.  His efforts were thwarted by passengers, including an off-duty pilot, who wrestled away the hypodermic needle he was using to threaten crew members.  The airline and police are now under attack for the way they handled the incident, including police who boarded the plane and, allegedly, attacked the passengers who stopped the hijacker.

June 19, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 23, 2006

Dr. 90210 Restrains Passenger on Flight

Dr. Robert Rey, the star of Dr. 90210 on E!, helped to restrain an unruly passenger on an American Airlines flight from Austin to Los Angeles.  If you've ever seen the show (which, despite my best efforts, I have), he's the guy who does martial arts.  You'll know this because in the article I've linked to, he says:

When you get a black belt, at that stage your brain just clicks into action...I restrained this gentleman in a very aggressive way without hurting him.

For some reason, I get the impression that he'll mention his black belt with little prompting.

The plane landed without further incident.

May 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

May 17, 2006

Parrots Escape in JetBlue Cabin

In yet another impressive lapse in airport security, a passenger hid two African parrots in his carry-on luggage when he boarded a JetBlue flight to Newark from Puerto Rico.  The two birds then escaped during the flight, and enjoyed their time flying around the cabin.  Keep in mind that while the government is noting our phone calls as a way of stopping terrorism, they are not stopping people from smuggling stuff on board airplanes.  This time it's parrots.  Next time, what, roosters?

May 17, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 05, 2006

Man Slips on Watermelon, Sues Airport

The title sorta says it all:  a British businessman traveling through Dubai's airport is suing said airport because he slipped on a piece of watermelon and hurt himself.  For some reason, he feels this is worth about $550,000.

May 5, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 02, 2006

Snoop Dogg Arrested at Heathrow

Snoop Dogg (real name: Snoop Doggy Dogg) and 5 members of his 30-man-strong posse were arrested at London Heathrow airport after the aforementioned posse was not permitted in the British Airways first class lounge.  The short version is that mayhem ensued and 6 people (including Mr. Dogg) were dragged off and arrested.  Not that it matters, but he was headed to South Africa to perform.  He missed one of his concerts there though, in the words of Grandmaster Flash, he's out on bail and out of jail and that's the way it goes.

May 2, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (4)

April 26, 2006

Danish Supermodel May Andersen Arrested on Plane

Former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model May Andersen was arrested after she attacked a flight attendant on a Martinair flight from Amsterdam to Miami.  No word on what set her off, but I imagine she'll be pretty pissed off when she sees the photo on the page I linked to.  In any case, the government is holding her without bail at Miami-Dade County Jail.

April 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 10, 2006

Passenger Kicked Off Plane for Cell Phone Use

A passenger was kicked off a Japan Airlines flight today because he refused to stop using his cell phone to send emails while the plane was taxiing.  Oh, then he grabbed a flight attendant and spat at her.  That also might have had something to do with it.  The plane returned to the gate and was delayed an hour.  And then, for god knows what reason, they let him back on the plane after he promised to stop using his cell phone (no word on whether he promised to stop spitting at staff).

In other Japan Airlines news, the carrier apologized for serving kids meals containing beef from the United States, despite Japan's ban on US beef due to mad cow disease.  Don't worry, you won't die:  the meals, which were only served on flights from Guam, were changed in January to remove the US beef.  What?  You live in the US and eat beef all the time?  You're screwed.

March 10, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 06, 2006

Paula Abdul: Too Important for Security

Paula Abdul caused a bit of a security meltdown at Las Vegas' airport on Thursday.  Because of the legions of fans mobbing her at the airport (that's what the article says...) she was permitted to skip the security line to board her Southwest Airlines (thrifty!) flight back to Burbank.  I could make a joke about permitting someone named Abdul to bypass airport security, but I wouldn't do that.  Authorities are investigating....

March 6, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

February 23, 2006

Watch Your Mouth in Singapore...and No Bombs in the UK

If you find yourself at Singapore's Changi Airport, do not (repeat, do not) swear at customs officials.  A man was arrested at the airport after he swore at customs officers who asked him to place his baggage through an x-ray machine for a routine check.  He was fined S$2000.

In other idiot news, a British man who joked that he had a bomb in his luggage, causing an expensive series of delays at Scotland's Inverness Airport, was sentenced to two months in prison.  Police searched his bag and found candy.  And not a candy bomb, either.  Just regular candy.  Lesson:  if you have candy in your bag, don't say you have a bomb.

February 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

February 03, 2006

Two Prosecuted for Onboard Sex

Two men were prosecuted for having sex (if President Clinton is reading this it was actually oral sex, which isn't sex, as you know) onboard a flight from Asia to Europe (details are sketchy, and I've had to link to a translation of the original article, which is in Dutch and doesn't offer many details).  It appears that two men, a Korean dude and an Irish guy, decided to pleasure each other in the business class cabin of this flight.  Very classy.  They were caught by a flight attendant and arrested upon landing.  They refused to settle the case for 1000 Euro, and now face a court date.

February 3, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)